I spent two of my high school years living in Monmouth, Illinois. We moved there in 1985 when my mom became a Spanish professor at Monmouth College – something she did for over 25 years. It’s a school of Presbyterian affiliation in a county-seat town in west-central Illinois. Monmouth’s population was close to 11,000 at the time; it’s a bit smaller now.
One part of Monmouth in the 1980s was the local paper, the Monmouth Review-Atlas. It was a typical small-town newspaper. We used to joke that you could read it all in five minutes – and the most interesting part was the police blotter on the back. Since everyone knew everyone else, you could see which of your friends got in trouble. One positive thing I drew from that paper though was the advice column: Ann Landers. Lots of people of my generation and older will remember her. She took in correspondence from all over the country and gave out home-spun advice that was helpful, practical, and sometimes memorable. This was good for me. When you’re in adolescence your identity is being formed and anything you take in that’s positive stands to be helpful. I benefitted a lot from reading her advice. I can think of ways that I’m a better person today because of what she wrote back then. But there was one drawback in how it impacted my initial ministry. When I was younger I thought that as a pastor I’d be giving people really good advice. People come to pastors with their problems, and you’re supposed to know the Bible – so you can give great advice, right? Wrong! Sometimes giving people unsolicited advice is the worst thing you can do. The pastor’s job is not to solve other people’s problems. God knows the solutions to all our problems. If the pastor can listen with empathy and help people connect with God, that may help them with their problems. But sometimes you just have to walk with people during their struggles – ridding yourself of the notion that you can straighten them out. God is the only one who can do that. I thought of all this as I was studying Galatians 4:19-20. Paul writes: “My little children, for whom I am again in the pain of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, I wish I were present with you now and could change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.” Paul was trying to help a troubled congregation that was at risk of drifting into a false gospel (1:6-7). He worried that all his work with them was for nought (4:11). Paul came from a background of violent religious legalism (e.g. Galatians 1:13, Acts 8:1-3; 9:1) and he was very averse to this kind of toxic religiosity. Along those lines, ideological shifts can sometimes make for strained and/or destroyed personal relations. (Maybe some of you know this from your own experience.) Paul reflected fondly on his time in Galatia and his relationship with these Christians, fearing that it had all turned sour (Galatians 4:13-16). But what allowed Paul to give his advice was the depth of his relationships with these people. You can tell he really loved them. If people know that you love them, they’ll be a lot more apt to listen to you. I think of Jesus’ famous command to love one another (in John 13:34-35). If someone undergoes a Christ-like transformation, it won’t happen because of nagging and arm-twisting. It’ll come with persistent love – just as Jesus has love for us. Part of loving other people means suffering with them – even if the suffering comes from their own bad decisions. Paul relays this when he speaks of his anxiety as being like childbirth. Jesus once taught about the new birth in His famous conversation with Nicodemus (in John 3:1-15). It’s a stripe of teaching that’s commonly associated with salvation – but really it’s a slightly different articulation of what He said about becoming like children (in Matthew 18:3-4, Mark 9:35, and Luke 9:48). Paul pointed to this kind of transformation in Galatians 4:19, speaking of his confidence that Christ will be “formed in you” – that is, in the group he is writing to. Somehow, some way, we trust that God will have His way. We can’t change other people, but God knows what they need. We can pray; we can be faithful; and we can trust in Him – and then God will do His work. God bless you. Andrew McHenry, Pastor First Congregational Church Trinity Presbyterian Church
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Andrew McHenryI am a husband, a Congregational pastor, and a native Kansan currently living in Thermalito, California. In the past I have also been a prison chaplain and a youth pastor. Interests include reading, railroads, prog rock, KU, and the KC Royals. Archives
March 2024
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